#20factsaboutme

1. I'm the second daughter of my parents, I have three sisters - one older sister, and two younger sisters which are twins! I love my family so much, they are the best mom, dad, and sisters that God could ever sent to me. I'm actually a family-person by heart, but I just can never show my feelings to them - which leads to the #fact number two!
2. Maybe no one realizes this, but I'm pretty much an introvert who strives to be an extrovert for my whole life. That's why I'm having a super hard time showing my feelings to people, even to my closest ones. I'm having a love-hate relationship with new people, because I really hate to introduce myself and start talking nonsense; but at the same time, I always feel exhilarated and thrilled to do that. Even though I'm not so good at meeting new people, once I become acquainted with them, they have to prepare their ears to listen to me all day long.
3. I always love to do things by myself. I love to shop alone, watch a movie alone (as long as it's not a horror movie), travel alone, go to a hair salon/massage alone, or just sit somewhere and see how the world works around me... alone. I don't know why, but by nature, being alone is just my comfort zone. I will never feel lonely when I'm alone, while sometimes (just sometimes!) I feel lonely when I'm with people.
4. But the thing is, I love people! Just because I love to do things by my own, doesn't mean that I'm such a loner and I hate people and I'm such a dark gloomy kind of person. In fact, I'm pretty sure my friends think that I'm such an extrovert who loves to be surrounded by people. Which I do. I love to spend my time with my friends; just hanging out in new cafes or restaurants we haven't been to or just go to someone's house and talk about random things. Either way, I always love it. 
5. I love to do and figure out something new. This leads to my all time favorite thing to do: travel! I will not refer myself as a traveler (which I'm not) because I don't do travel that often (because of budget and time constraint). But if I have all the time and money in the world, I would definitely do it as much as I can!
6. I always have a thing with volunteering. Which is odd because I never actually do it. Deep inside, I always find the hunger of helping others and share some happiness that I have. I actually already searched opportunities to volunteer, but I don't know why I always ended up didn't do it. Well I know why. At first, I'm so busy with things that I shouldn't be busy with (like conducting events in my university and stuffs). Then when all those not-so-important things had done, I start being busy with the things I should be busy with (family, college, etc.). After all, procrastinating is the reason why.
7. I'm afraid of heights. I don't know why, but as long as I can remember, I'm always afraid of heights. It's so severe that I even find it scary to be in the upper berth of bed, looking down when I'm only at the 2nd floor of a mall, or to just stand on a chair. I don't know why, maybe I'm just afraid of falling.
8. My biggest dream in life is to own an orphanage and a school. This two things just combined two of my favorite things in life: volunteer and kids. I'm going to make a high-quality school for free, for kids who didn't have any pennies for education yet struggles to have one. I hate how people give children schools for free, but they didn't maintain the quality at all. It's like giving someone something to eat, but didn't allow them to drink.
9. I'm a big believer of love requires sacrifice and some work. You will never, ever, find someone who clicks with you in every single aspect. But you will find someone who would love to figure things out together with you, compromise, and try to make everything work out.
10. I sneeze like a cat. I have those small sneezes with a minimum of 5 times every time I sneezes. I used to have those big relieving sneezes, but then my stomach will hurts and my nose will sore. So eventually, those big relieving sneezes turn to be a 5 times small silent sneezes.
11. I didn't really know what I wanted to do for a living - work-wise. I like economics because it's logical and it simply make sense. But I never find myself willingly searched the web for research papers and read it without an order. I didn't find it hard, though. I didn't really enjoy reading those papers and literatures, but no, I don't hate it. And I still do it quite often! And this leads to the #fact number 12.
12. I was not born a rebel. I do what people asks me to do, whether I like it or not. I think it's a part of my eastern culture where people find it offensive when you bluntly express your actual feelings. But the thing is, I didn't have a hard time doing things that I didn't fond of. Well, I never actually have a hard time doing anything. Up to now, I never really work on something really hard that I push myself to my limit. Without any intentions of being cocky, I actually find everything to be so easy to get. That's why I start to question myself, whether I already set a high enough goals and expectations for myself. Well I guess the answer is.... no, I haven't.
13. I never believe in love at the first sight, but I do believe in hate at the first sight. Every time I met someone, I start to analyze and voilà! I will immediately make a conclusion whether I'm going to like this person or not. Of course after knowing them, there is a possibility that somehow I soften my views. Maybe they are not as bad as I thought, or on the other hand, maybe they are not as good as I thought. But there is also a possibility that my first analysis is right, and knowing them more just deepen my interpretation even more. And most of time, my first analysis is right. Because I think it's not just about the appearance and stuffs, I believe that it's also a mixture of your instincts and signs from the universe.
14. I love to read so much! I didn't refer myself as a bookworm, because I know there's a lot more people who read so much more than me. But yes, if I had some free time, book is the first thing I will run into. I didn't read all kind of books (which proved that I'm not a bookworm even more), I mostly read fiction and science fiction. I prefer reading than watching movies, because I think that movies limit my imagination. They already provide everything for you: the pictures, musics, dialogues, gestures; and the only room for you to imagine is the prologue and epilogue. Which is not good.
15. Before I go to sleep, most of time (if I'm not too tired that I'd passed away right after touching the bed) I will imagine what I'm going to be 1, 5, 10, 50 years from now - depending on my mood. Sometimes my imagination will be wild and unrealistic, but sometimes I will make a very good story that I would really love it to come true. 
16. I am not an ambitious girl, but I do hate it when someone (especially when I didn't really like them) is better than me and I will do something to prove them (and myself) that I'm better. This is a part of my selfishness that I keep to myself, and I believe that no one knows about it up to now. And, as a matter of fact I hate it when people show their ambitiousness. I mean, you could go get gold for a hundred competition or attend hundreds of conferences all around the world, but I will never have any respect for you if you post all your achievements in all of your social media. No one needs to know that at 10:00 you are making a paper, at 13:00 you are in the middle of a business meeting with someone important, at 15:00 you are meeting a Professor to check your paper, at 17:00 you are attending a technical meeting for a competition, at 20:00 you are practicing for your debate competition, at 22:00......... get it? There you go.
17. I always want to marry in a young age. I want to raise my children when I'm still young, strong, and healthy. I want to be more like a friend to my kids, not just a mother that they have respect to and period. I want them to have me as their best friend, to not be afraid of telling the most taboo things, to be able to communicate with me as a grown up. I want them to love me as a mom, a friend, a teacher, and everything possible.
18. I always try to be that toughest-independent-strong-happy girl in my peers. I want them to think that I'm strong, that I can handle every obstacles in my life, that I'm always happy no matter what. That's probably another reason why I never really share it to people when I feel sad or mad. That's also the reason why I always have a big dependency to my partner, I will rely on him in most everything. I couldn't cry or show my weakness in front of my friends, thus the only choice that I have is to show it to him. And that would make me look a bit pampered to whoever my boyfriend is.
19. Lately, I just can't tolerate foolishness.
20. People with ideology, goals, and visions never fails to astonish me. I love to see the sparkles in someone's eyes when they talk about their long-term goals, what they wanted to be, what their passions are, and what they had done in life. If you wanted to amaze me, never ever even think about saying how much you earned, how many cars you owned, how many branded names you memorize, how many galas you are invited to, how you smoke weeds three times a day, how you take five shots and still didn't get drunk. To startled me, just talk about life, how you wanted it to be, how you strives to work on you passion, how you cry when you see people in need, how you try so many times but still fails. I love too see sparkles in people's eyes, it's the thing that proves you're living, not just alive.

So, here's the #20factsaboutme! Shoot, that was long..... Told you I love to talk!

Sawadee Ka!

Hi there! Or should I say...... Sawadee Ka!

I'm writing this in my dorm in......... Thailand! Isn't that crazy? I'm taking an exchange program to Mahidol University for one semester, and up to now (I've been here for a month) I'm having a super-great time. I just simply love it here; the people, the attractions, the culture, the foods, the scenery, the landscapes, everything. Who doesn't? I'm in The Land of Smiles! I found it crazy that I'm only three hours flight away from Jakarta, and everything is just so different. Well not necessarily everything, the climate, the traffic jam, the behavior (dirty-ness and so on) is merely the same; but other than that, I learned tons of new things - which is amazing! Moreover, I'm surrounded by a lot of people from different cultures here. I'm living in an international dorm, and it's literally multinational! There is a bunch of Americans (and I learned that America is a really big country, so different states means different cultures!), Germans, Austrian, Dutch, Colombian, Canadian, British, Danish, and of course Thais! Isn't it awesome that you can learn an itsy bit of every culture just by staying in one place? I learned how Germans are so insecure and so afraid of risks. I learned how Americans really do worship freedom than anything else. I learned how Colombia is not a jungle, and not as scary as how the movies described (some of the movies didn't even shoot it in Colombia!). I learned how Danish are really proud of being Danish, and they will brag about their country all the time. I learned how Thai people really respect and love their Kings and their country; they even play their national anthem in theaters before a movie starts and everyone will stand up and sing a long. I learned how different the eastern and western cultures are, in a good way.

I've only been here for about a month, and I already been to several places inside and outside Bangkok (In fact, right now I just came back from the famous Full Moon Party in Koh Phangan!). Starting from now, be ready to read my Thailand experiences, and maybe my other experiences that I hadn't write before. I don't why but before, I don't want to write anything about my experiences because I'm afraid that people will find me a boaster. But after this whole month of experiences, I don't know why but I don't care anymore! I write because I wanted to share a glimpse of my life, not because I wanted to brag. And if someone thinks that I boasted, well sorry no sorry, that's your problem not mine.

After this post, I will immediately post another one about #20factsaboutme just because I'm in the mood of writing and it looks like some fun! And if I still got some mood of writing, I'll post another one about my short trip to Koh Phangan! Just for a sneak peek, the Full Moon Party is so crazy but actually, it's not as crazy as I thought!

Not every moment counts. No?

Most of the time, you will find yourself capable in handling things. But in some particular time, when you are too happy, too angry, too sad, you come to the idea that you somehow need someone to share an itsy bitsy bite of your stories. Some stories are meant to be shared, not to be kept alone and dreamt about all night long. And when that moment occurs, you start to feel the emptiness in your heart. It feels like there's a small hole in your heart that needs to be filled with something. With someone. And until that moment come, you are to enjoy your time flying high as free as a bird.

Ekstrovert, Introvert, dan Diantaranya

Semua orang punya kepribadian yang berbeda-beda, seperti yang sering dibilang sama banyak orang: everybody is unique. Begitupun kalau untuk urusan speak up bahkan curhat, semua orang punya caranya masing-masing; terkadang sesuai sama kepribadiannya, tapi terkadang juga engga. Ada orang yang sangat ekstrovert dan bisa mengutarakan pendapatnya dengan bluntly bahkan sampai terkadang, seperti tidak memikirkan perasaan orang lain. Ada juga orang yang sangat introvert sehingga jangankan untuk mengutarakan pendapat, untuk memulai suatu conversation aja butuh tiga tarikan napas. Terakhir, dan juga paling sulit untuk digambarkan, adalah orang yang ekstrovert tapi sudah terbiasa introvert dan orang yang introvert tapi sudah terbiasa ekstrovert. Cara menemukan mereka gampang, mereka adalah orang-orang yang paling sering bicara dan mengobrol tetapi selalu diam ketika membicarakan masalah pribadinya. Atau sebaliknya mereka adalah orang yang terlihat sangat pendiam, tetapi ketika didekati sedikit saja, semua cerita mereka akan mengalir keluar dengan lancar dari bibirnya. Jika kamu tidak pernah menemukan orang-orang seperti ini, bukan berarti orang-orang seperti ini tidak ada di sekitar kamu, bisa jadi itu hanya kamu yang kurang memperhatikan.

What is your idea of a perfect partner?

If you are forced to make a classification of qualities that possessed by your girlfriend/boyfriend, then what would it be? These qualities didn't have to be much, but yet, it should be enough. Enough to describe briefly about your dream prince or princess, enough to illustrate your imagination of a perfect companion, enough to represent your idea of an ideal partner in crime, partner in good and bad, partner in ups and downs, and most importantly, partner for a lifetime. Something or someone suddenly pop-upped in your mind, no? Then that something or someone must have been a special part of your life, like it or not.

For me, though I actually didn't really do types and classifications, I would like my boyfriend to have two simple traits: smart and funny. This two characters seems to be really simple, rite? But in fact, it is not that simple for someone to have both of it and implemented it in the best way I'd love.

By smart I'm not imagining someone with thick glasses (though it would work too) with thick books in his hands, or a bookworm who spend all night in the library studying some encyclopedia or trying to formulate a formula. By smart I'm thinking of someone who didn't have to show off his smartness, instead he would just play it cool and observe his surroundings. I'm thinking of this special one who will remain silent when the others were busy boasting their ideas out loud, even though his ideas is probably way more better than the others. I'm dreaming of a man who is not only good in reading textbooks, but a man with wide knowledge from those unreadable research papers and articles. I'm picturing a person with an outstanding capability to manage his social-life balanced with his working-life. I'm imagining someone who have his head up in the sky, but keep his heart low down to the ground.

But instead of being just smart, this ideal man for me should also be funny. Why funny? Because who bears a never ending talk about the world crisis, or nonstop chats about gasoline's price, or hours of debates about rights and wrongs in currency war, and other critical issues without jokes between it? I need a man who could make a joke of Italy's lost from German either in their football match or in their economic condition, I need a man who could make a joke of Japan's diehard people, I need a man who could make a joke of our country's spurious growth, I need a man who could make a joke out of anything, everything. This man must've read many books, must've listen to many people, and finally he must've proceed informations he gained altogether. Because this man I love, should be a smart joker. Not a stupid joker who could only be funny by insulting others (or insulting themselves).

I don't need some sweet and romantic guy who treats me like a fragile princess. All I ever needed is someone with a big head to be smart, a big heart to stay humble, and a big joke to meltdown the atmosphere. I never dream of a guy who will bring me flowers every month, remember every date of our dates, throw me a surprise party for my birthday, or pick me up and take me home everyday. All I wanted is someone who will stay strong in my lowest days, brings me up when something pushed me down, cheer me up when the nights are long, cope up with both of my stupid and smart talks, add up his knowledge and share everything that he reads with me, everyday.

Cry baby cry

I don't know why but every time it comes to you I'll be such a crybaby. Good for you. Good for you.

Fact.

Good things are yet to come. Sweet things people say to cheer themselves when they are in the lowest wheel in their life cycle. But unfortunately, sweet things rarely come true.

Book review

Jadi...... Kayak karakter di buku yang aku baca.........

Kamu tuh egois banget, keras kepala, susah dibilangin, suka marah-marah, tempramen. Terus kamu gak romantis, not even close to sweet. Well, you're actually sweet. But in your own way. Malah hal-hal kecil yang bikin kamu sweet, yang malah mungkin gak kamu rencanain. Small things kayak megang rambutku, nyebrangin aku, and that kind of things. Small, but special. At least for me. Teruus kamu kalau ngomong straight to the point, kadang-kadang gapake hati bahkan. Tapi itu jadi bikin aku percaya, kalau setiap omongan kamu itu jujur. When you say it, you mean it. Bukan sekedar sweet talk buat bikin aku happy. And last, kamu bukan cowok yang masih kayak anak kecil, yang masih pengen happy happy, yang masih bandel dan gapunya vision forward. Kamu beda, kamu punya cita-cita sendiri, you're passionate in it, and I know you'll pursue it till the very end. It's +100, seriously. Nah tapi in the same time kamu selalu manja sama aku, which makes me feel needed. Dan emang itu kan yang harus ada dalam suatu relationship, perasaan saling butuh?

❤,
P